


It Goes Sort of Like This

by jeanmoneau



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, F/M, Fix It Fic, Gen, M/M, and he's happy to see them every day :'), he's very special and you'll see why, noah loves his friends, so basically noah czerny is still alive, this is a noah fic but everyone's got some spotlight here and there, well as alive as he can be
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2019-06-24 13:50:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15631956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeanmoneau/pseuds/jeanmoneau
Summary: Noah Czerny did not die a second time, and it went sort of like this.A fic about Noah's fate after the books and a new adventure with the Gangsey.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I had this odd dream one night that I wrote a fic where Noah was still alive. So, here I am writing it out. Enjoy!

Noah Czerny had a secret. And a story. Though, to the minds who knew of neither, they might as well have been the same thing. But, they were not, and they went sort of like this:

Noah Czerny had a secret: He had almost died. Again.

And a story: He had once died without room for complaints, and he had been close to death once again with a choice not to complain.

Secrets and stories were what made up Cabeswater and what made Noah to what he was now: a wandering spirit. His friends had their own stories--their own secrets. And this was how it was meant to be.

In all honesty, Noah had never believed in fate. But maybe--just maybe--fate had its own secrets and its own stories. And if it didn’t want to tell anyone what it had seen, then perhaps Noah had defied fate. Because this was his story now. With his secrets.

Noah Czerny did not die a second time, and it went sort of like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter edited: 6/10/2019 -- minor typos


	2. Chapter 2

_You found me. Wake up._

Noah was awake. He doesn’t remember the last time he slept, but he was awake nonetheless. He was crouched in front of the stone slab that had his face on it, but not really his face. Not the one with hallowed eyes and smudgy features. This Noah wasn’t even wearing his Aglionby uniform.

_Noah Czerny_

_Beloved son, brother, and student_

A bunch of dates and numbers were engraved right below it, but he couldn’t bring himself to read them just yet. There was something daunting about knowing one’s life was measured by numbers—a limited amount of numbers at that. There was a set of numbers for when a life starts, and then a set of numbers for when a life ends. And to the people who didn’t know you, numbers are all they have you. But Noah had been more than just numbers. He had memories and family and a life. All things that can’t be put on a stone slab but carried more weight than just _Beloved son, brother, and student_.

He blinked, and the graveyard was quiet. He blinked again, and the sound of his friends began to cut through the quietness that only dead people could maintain.

“It’s moving,” he heard Ronan say. “Why is it moving?”

“Put it down then.” Gansey. “Artemus said not to scare it.”

“I’m not scaring it, old man. It’s scaring itself.”

“Come on, Lynch, put it down.”

Noah heard a soft _thump_ and Ronan’s _tsk_.

“Only because I’m bored, Parrish.”

Noah let his hand hover above his name. He wasn’t here to mourn for himself, he was here for something greater—something that’s more than himself. With a final look at the alive Noah’s face, he stood up and placed his hands in his pockets. His shoulders slumped forward (a habit his mother used to tell him to stop doing) as he turned to look at his friends. Blue and Adam were sat on the hood of the Pig. Inside the passenger’s seat, Ronan snooped around the car’s cup holders, pulling out receipts and putting them back where they belonged with a disinterested hum. As for the driver himself, Gansey sat behind the wheel keeping his eyes trained on both Ronan and the small clap pot that sat on the dashboard. From where he stood, Noah couldn’t see the plant that was inside it, but he wouldn’t be surprised if it was moving. Noah smiled at the thought of the small sapling moving in its pot. Only Cabeswater could manifest something so lively.

_You found me. Wake up._

Noah was awake.

“We good to go?” Blue jumped off the hood of the car and Adam followed. He lifted an eyebrow to Ronan and Ronan put on his seat belt.

Noah nodded. He was as awake as he could be. 

“Cabeswater is waiting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter edit: 6/10/2019 -- minor typo


	3. Chapter 3

There was something sort of unbecoming about expecting a forest, but knowing it’s not going to be there. Here was what Noah had expected: lush greens, trees that touched the sky, rivers that feared limits. Here was his reality: a meadow where a great source of magic had once been. Cabeswater was a beacon for magical flora and fauna, but now, it was a struggling patch of land where green grass grew as if it had not once been the home to talking trees. This was not a dream thing anymore. This was another one of Henrietta’s landscapes. 

It smelled wonderful in this open field. A quiet breeze carried with it the scents of faraway farms and the afternoon heat. He stood quietly by the passenger door of the Pig. From inside the car, the stereo played on of Ronan’s tapes--as per his request--and the grass around the orange Camaro danced happily. Noah watched Adam walk out of the car and sit on the hood beside Ronan. The two of them remained silent as Ronan let Adam stare off into the distance. Ever since asking Cabeswater to give itself up for Gansey, Adam had let his ties with the magical forest go. There was still magic in him, but it had lost its partner that day. Noah thought about the way Adam had let Cabeswater use him and if he’d be able to do it himself. As he held the small sapling in his hands, he thought maybe he could. 

Blue stood beside Noah and said, “Even though I rode in that car across the country, I will never get used to how awful it feels.” 

He hugged the sapling against his chest and nodded. “I was just glad to get the hell out of there.” 

Blue was quiet at first and he knew why. He wasn’t one to express his opinions freely. But if dead people could get carsick, then that would explain Noah’s unease every time the Pig would rattle to life and its insistent shuddering on Henrietta’s gravels. After a few seconds of silence, Blue stretched her arms above her head and kept them up for a second before letting them drop to her sides. Then, she asked, “What do we do now?” 

“Explore the area,” Gansey offered, coming up beside her. “We’re in search of any spot here that may still hold some energy.” 

Blue gestured to the large expanse of grass ahead of them. “If you haven’t noticed, there’s not much to explore.” 

“I know that,” said Gansey. A corner of his lips twitched up and Noah wondered how many times they had talked to each other like this, and how many times Gansey had smiled when they did. He pulled out a small black box with switches on the sides and multicolored lights that flashed green no matter which direction he turned it. 

“You brought that with you again?” 

Gansey turned the EMF meter to the ground by his feet. It still flashed green. “Of course. The best things to explore are often the things you cannot see.” 

“So, like Ronan?” asked Blue. Gansey cast a glance where Ronan had been sitting on the Pig’s hood. He was no longer there. “Like Ronan.” 

At the sound of his boyfriend’s name, Adam turned to listen in on their conversation. 

“Please tell me he isn’t peeing on a tree again,” pleaded Gansey. 

“He’s hiding,” said Adam. 

“Hiding is the opposite of what we need to do.” 

“It looks like hiding is the only thing he wants to do.” 

“Why is that?” 

“I needed to pee.” Ronan had rejoined the group without the others noticing. He came around the other side of the car and stopped to stand beside Adam, leaning on the hood with his hand. 

Gansey’s eyebrows pulled together before he looked at Adam. “I thought you said he was hiding.” 

“He was,” replied Adam. “He needed to pee, so he hid.” 

Blue’s nose crinkled up. “Where?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Sargent,” said Ronan. 

“Asshole,” answered Blue. 

Noah hadn’t seen his friends gathered like this since before Cabeswater disappeared. And as much as he wanted to continue this conversation, the sapling in his arms began to move. He nudged Blue with his elbows and said, “I think it wants something.” 

Blue eyed the sapling. It swayed from side-to-side as she stared at it. “Can you hear what it’s trying to say?” 

Noah stayed quiet and let his mind focus on the sapling--its features, its weight, its magic. Most times, the little plant was not shy about its requests. But other times--like now--the little plant liked to stay quiet and make Noah work even harder to understand what it wants. Blue’s father, Artemus, had told him that all trees had their own attitudes and this one, being as young as it was, was one of the more troublesome ones he’d ever had the pleasure to meet. Noah thought that was unfair. He wasn’t quite ready to take care of an attitude-riddled, magical plant. Though, he’ll answer every time it speaks. 

_Wake up. Wake up. Wake up._

Noah was awake. 

_You found me._

Noah did find the little plant. 

_I will take roots here. My home. Wake me._

The first time Noah heard the sapling talk to him, he had been meaning to sacrifice himself a second time. The moment he meant to step away from time itself, something grabbed him and held on to him. _A part of me is dying,_ it had said, _and you are the only one to witness it._ It was true, Noah had thought. Cabeswater’s hold on him hadn’t loosened until it was all gone--until Cabeswater itself slid from time. And then Noah was alone. That day, he had awoken beside the gravestone that had his name on it. Resting on his chest was the little sapling. _You found me,_ it whispered. _Wake up._

Noah told his friends what the plant was saying, and Gansey lifted the EMF in front of him. Instantly, the lights began to flash yellow. His eyebrows shot up. 

“It wasn’t doing that earlier.” 

“Maybe something was blocking the energy here before,” Adam suggested. 

“Like what?” 

Adam stayed quiet until his eyes widened. “Maybe that was one of Cabeswater’s last acts. It wanted to hide any last pieces of magic and energy it had left until it was time.” 

_Reconstruction. Life._

“I think you’re right,” said Noah. He lifted the pot slightly to show Adam. “It’s saying reconstruction and life.” 

“So, we’re finding the last magical spot in this place to grow a tree?” Ronan straightened his back and nodded once. “Let’s go.” 

Gansey looked at Noah and asked, “Are you ready?” 

Noah nodded. “Let’s go.” 

Gansey aimed the EMF meter straight ahead and took a step forward, everyone else following behind him. This was familiar. Just like the quest to find Glendower. Something tugged at Noah’s heart as he thought of the memories from that quest--meeting Blue, Monmouth, the adventures they had. He didn’t think of all the bad things that had happened. He couldn’t bring himself to. 

_Make way for the new magician. We’re waking up._

Noah bit his lip and kept his eyes on the plant. “It’s saying to make way for the new magician.” 

Silence washed over the five of them, their footsteps the only things making a sound. Then, Adam spoke, his voice just barely a breath. “That’s you. You’re the new magician.” 

Noah looked at Adam, but he wasn’t looking back. Noah knew Adam wasn’t mad at him, he was just hurting from the loss of something that had once been a part of him. He wondered if there was anything that could reawaken Adam’s magic. Noah added that to his mental to-do list. 

“Make way for the new magician,” Gansey echoed. He had a smile on his face that screamed excitement and wonder. “We are at the beginning of a new story.” 

The sapling began to move faster, its leaves brushing against Noah’s arm. Every touch sent a chill up his spine. This was magic--the chills, the feeling that he’s _more_ than just the ghost boy. He took a step ahead of the group and said, “Let’s wake up some plants.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! All love is appreciated ❤(ˆ‿ˆԅ) 
> 
> I understand if you're a little bit confused, so if you have any questions, I'll answer them if it's not anything too spoiler-y. But just so you know, I plan to straighten things out in the future chapters. Speaking of future chapters. I'm writing this fic on my spare time, so, there won't be a consistent update schedule, but I do intend to finish! I promise. In the meantime, thank you for reading :)
> 
> chapter edit: 6/10/2019


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back from school hell and on to updating this fic! I am so, so sorry for the wait and I know this is a very short update, but I plan on writing a lot of this fic over the summer. Here's a [link to a post on my tumblr](https://www.noahcznerys.tumblr.com/post/185464824403/how-bout-you-finish-that-noah-fic) that explains why I haven't updated in literal months.

The women of 300 Fox Way were alive. Not just in the sense that their hearts beat the way Noah’s didn’t; or how their touches were warm in the way Noah’s weren’t; or how their bones were above the ground in the way Noah’s were below. The women of 300 Fox Way were loud, darting souls that only they could keep up with. He watched Orla leave the refrigerator door open and Calla yelled at her from across the room. Noah closed the refrigerator door and stood beside it, waiting for someone to notice him. 

A few moments passed by until Blue rounded the corner and walked into the kitchen still fixing the clips in her short hair. Without looking behind her, she yelled, “Mom, I’m taking the last yogurt!” 

From somewhere upstairs, Maura replied, “Of course you will!” 

Blue noticed Noah standing beside the fridge. “Where’s the others?” 

Noah shrugged. Among the chaos happening around him, he felt strange to not answer back. So, he added, “Making trouble.” 

“Of course they are.” It didn’t go unnoticed how Blue sounded slightly pleased. 

She opened the fridge and rummaged through the overflowing shelves for the last cup of yogurt. Once she found it, she lifted it up triumphantly and Noah clapped. She closed the fridge door and he reached behind him for a spoon. She thanked him and he smiled. He’d spent enough time with the psychic’s daughter to know what exactly her next move was going to be. And just as he expected, she gestured for them to go outside. Walking past Orla without being noticed, Noah followed Blue to the old beech tree where they sat side-by-side. Blue’s shoulder felt warm against his. Something in his chest hurt at the feeling. 

“So,” Blue started, holding out a spoonful of yogurt to Noah, “how’s Cabeswater 2.0?” 

Noah sniffed the yogurt. Blueberry. He leaned back and Blue ate the yogurt. 

“It’s…” Noah searched for the right words. Gansey would have had the right words. When he couldn’t think of it, he said the first thing on his mind: “Alive. It’s alive.” 

Cabeswater was alive. Noah hadn’t visited the new Cabeswater in a month, as per Ronan’s request. 

“I need some alone time to try and dream it up again,” he had said with a full scowl. 

“Okay,” Noah had replied with a half smile. 

People who were alive could never truly know what it was to feel life in their fingertips. Noah knew. This past month, he felt the rush of life go through him. It pulsated like a heartbeat—a sporadic and artificial heartbeat. The first time it happened, he was sitting on the edge of his bedroom in Monmouth Manufacturing, listening to the sounds of Gansey and Adam packing away downstairs. 

“Gansey, do you still need this Henrietta replica?” Adam had asked. 

“I worked so hard on it.” There was a long silence before Gansey sighed. “I don’t think I can fit this into wherever I go. Besides, Child wants this place empty.” 

Adam hadn’t said anything else. It was in that silence that a sensation Noah had long forgotten coursed through his body. Like a tide, warmth ran from his chest to his fingertips. It was the millions of hugs and kisses he had missed in the past seven or eight years. It was the rush of being out of breath. It was the—It was gone just as fast as it had come. Noah clenched and unclenched his fist in wonder, trying to recreate it. A crackling came from beside him. Looking over, he recognized the walkie talkie Ronan had dreamt up for the both of them. 

“Hey, you felt that? Over.” 

Noah picked up the device and pressed the button to answer. “Yeah, what was it? Over.” 

“I just dreamt up a fucking river—HA!” Then, “Over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading! Pls leave kudos and comments <3
> 
>  **SOCIALS**  
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> 
>  
> 
> _I write for free, so if you like my writing and can spare a few dollars,[pls buy me a coffee!](http://www.ko-fi.com/porkastination) Thank you so much!_


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